Today is the 2nd day of 2024. Most people are full or hope, resolutions, healthy eating and possibly even "Dry January." I'll just be grateful to get thru the next day.
Here's the thing I've been wondering for a while. Why can't I find joy in things? Did I run out of Seratonin? Is my diet of Wellbutrin, and Klonopin and intermittent fasting just making me sadder? Have I aways been a bitch or is this something new? 90% of the time I feel empty inside and I don't know why. I am financially comfortable, travel a lot, have a decent job, a loving husband, and two grown children who I'm proud to death of.
Honeslty the last thing that got me excited was when I heard Boogie Nights on the tv and I got out of my bed and ran to the living room so fast I nearly pulled a hamstring. Is this normal? Is anyone else like this? Please don't recommend that I do online therapy (especially the god forsaken ones that are constantly being advertised on podcasts).
The only thing worse then feeling like a human Eeyore, is the thought of sharing my thoughts with some rando via text, video or phone (your choice!). It just seems like a psychologist mill- I"m sure some of them are respectable, but I feel like most of them got their "licence" from a 6 week course at their local community college and are zipping thru Tik Tok while you spill out your guts to them.
AND, on that note, today is (sort of) day one of my blog "FirstClassToHell" - something I've dabbled on and off since the early 2000's (think Britney, Lindsay and Paris days). Stick with me - it might be the only thing that puts a smile on my face. In the menatime funny movie recommendations are always welcome.
Till next time,
Signing off,
-V